Imagination 12.46am Thursday 7th July 2011

I feel like,
sitting at Clarke Quay, or,
top of the highway behind Somerset,
alone,
open a bottle of Vodka,
get myself wasted,
as wasted as i could ever be,
til I'd blackout,
while hoping,
and wishing,
that everything will end,
and everything will get back to normal,
just like how I wanted it to be,
in reality,
and then I will finally,
wake up,
the next morning,
walk back home,
happily,
with head high,
with the strength,
to carry on,
with the story of my life.

I know I've been thinking too much lately, been getting angry at something and someone that i shouldn't have been. I know I didn't sleep too well too, keep waking up in the middle of the night, thinking and wondering how's my life gonna end up later in the future. Keep dreaming bout my boyfriend, eversince that scariest night I've ever been thru and never thought of ever, now I'm still scared if it will happen again as God too know how much I love him,as my boyfriend than a friend. Thank God everything's fine between us, but, I just feel like something's missing, I don't know what it is, maybe the way he talk, or act while he's with me. Maybe? Or maybe last time we're so comfortable, too comfortable with each other and now, nah... forget it. I am thinking way too much.. *breathe in, out....* =) I'll be fine soon. Maybe I miss his warmth, and kisses. Maybe I miss him too much. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to save this relationship.