Selfish.

Dear Readers,

How i wish i could run away, run away from all these nonsense. I can't even cry, cuz I'm tired of crying, tired of watching people cry in front of me. I just wish someone could just take me away, go somewhere peaceful, make me smile just for a day. I just need one day of peace. Thats all I need, shits been happening since mom left, I don't know where the hell is she right now, Dad been crying for the past few days, worse, he cried in front of me. Thats the hardest part, i don't wish to cry in front of him cuz i wanna show him that I'm strong. Friends and Family are falling apart, why can't they be like some people family and friends, stick together through thick and thin, help each other out. Family falls apart because of money, Friends falls part because of childishness. Gahh!! I'm the middle person right now, mom telling me stuff about dad, dad telling me stuff about mom, Friend A tell me stuff about Friend B, Friend B tell me stuff about Friend A, but me, as a middle person, after hearing both side, to me there are both at fault, Gosh guys! theres always a reason why shit happen to you guys! Wake up! You guys are old enough to think. I'm tired of telling you people what to do and what to think. I need time and space to think about myself too, i wanna finish what I've started, achieve my goals! I can't concentrate if you people are stopping me, like literally. Now i realized how evil those money can ruin peoples lives, yes it makes you happy for AWHILE, for the moment you really needed it, but den when the times you really needed it, you need to work your ass off till you neglect you health, you neglect your dignity and just steal from people and ask people for money and never pay them back like as if you feel like all those money fall from the sky! There is no such thing as 'easy money'.  And thats for money, and now for childishness, my dear friends, please i hate looking at you people behaving like this, I can't split myself into two, one side go to you and the other side go to the person that you're not talking to, thats nonsense! Do me one thing! Go to a childcare or a playground! Look at those little kids, there will be this incident happen like , Kid A fought with Kid B, because Kid B took Kid A toy car, and for that moment they're not talking, but after 2 mins they start talking to each other like normal and share the toy car together. At least little kids like them cherish their friendship! Unlike you young adults! Please I beg you people to stop or else i swear i will be the selfish person on earth you've ever met. I don't wanna be like that. Never. But people like you guys making me be like one. I need one peaceful day, if you don't want me to be alone, den please for that one peaceful day, make me laugh and smile again. Yes i do laugh and smile alot, but only God knows how much i suffer inside. I want to really laugh and smile. Really Laugh And Smile, Without Any Shit Going Through My Mind. Please. Thank you.

Love,            
Ferra